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Blog Post
When Did Compromise Become a Dirty Word?
- by Bernice Hardwick
- •
- 28 Oct, 2018
- •
Compromise - "an agreement or settlement of a dispute that is reached by each side making concessions".
Have you noticed that "compromise" seems to have become a dirty word? Almost as though it implies weakness, capitulating, allowing others to get the better of us, not standing up for our beliefs. I am horrified when I see articles headed things like "Why compromise is bad" or similar (see below), because our whole life has to be based on compromise and if it's not, we're in for a very bumpy ride. I may want to have enough money for a luxurious lifestyle without working, ever, but it's unlikely to happen - what compromise am I prepared to make? Do I choose not to work and then live frugally, do I work hard in an extremely well-paid job? Do I buy loads of lottery tickets and cross my fingers? Or any number of options in between. Failure to accept this reality causes us grief and unhappiness.
Nevertheless, we are constantly urged to "go for it", grab life by the horns, we can have it all if we simply set our minds to it, ignore others, don't compromise on your goals. No wonder so many people are depressed and anxious.
Actually, this article is not that bad, there is a great deal of common sense and good advice, and it seems to me that our differences are largely about semantics. I would suggest that compromise will frequently be one outcome of true collaboration, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe both parties come away with new perspectives, new ideas, rather than it being about giving up or giving in. True compromise is not shameful, it is an art, and I think we can benefit hugely from learning it.
And that Einstein quote at the end of the article - I think it's been misused.
www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-earle…/compromise_b_3306991.html
Have you noticed that "compromise" seems to have become a dirty word? Almost as though it implies weakness, capitulating, allowing others to get the better of us, not standing up for our beliefs. I am horrified when I see articles headed things like "Why compromise is bad" or similar (see below), because our whole life has to be based on compromise and if it's not, we're in for a very bumpy ride. I may want to have enough money for a luxurious lifestyle without working, ever, but it's unlikely to happen - what compromise am I prepared to make? Do I choose not to work and then live frugally, do I work hard in an extremely well-paid job? Do I buy loads of lottery tickets and cross my fingers? Or any number of options in between. Failure to accept this reality causes us grief and unhappiness.
Nevertheless, we are constantly urged to "go for it", grab life by the horns, we can have it all if we simply set our minds to it, ignore others, don't compromise on your goals. No wonder so many people are depressed and anxious.
Actually, this article is not that bad, there is a great deal of common sense and good advice, and it seems to me that our differences are largely about semantics. I would suggest that compromise will frequently be one outcome of true collaboration, and it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Maybe both parties come away with new perspectives, new ideas, rather than it being about giving up or giving in. True compromise is not shameful, it is an art, and I think we can benefit hugely from learning it.
And that Einstein quote at the end of the article - I think it's been misused.
www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-earle…/compromise_b_3306991.html