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Seechanges Therapy
Blog Post
Do You Like Receiving Advice?
- by Bernice Hardwick
- •
- 07 Oct, 2018
- •
What makes us resist or resent others' advice?
We usually prefer to give advice rather than take it. It's always much easier to see where others are going wrong and set them on the right path, than to recognise and accept input from somebody else. So much so that we rarely even follow our own suggestions, never mind heed others. What is that about? I actually don't know. And as a therapist, there does tend to be an assumption that not only do I know, but that I can help because I am somehow sorted, but that's not what it's like for me, I'm just wading through the dross, trying to find the way like everybody else, not knowing the answers.
I think my most important contribution can be in helping clients to see that we're all largely stumbling along, feeling foolish and scared, worried about making the wrong decision. My solutions are not necessarily theirs, nobody else knows better than they do what's right for them and that if any of us wants to make the most of life, we just have to get on with it without guarantees and certainty. Understanding that we're not alone can be the most liberating and empowering lesson, accepting ourselves with our inevitable limitations enables us to move forward, and in a world where we are constantly pressured to be perfect, it's often a revelation and a relief.
Once we recognise our imperfect humanity and share it with others, they are more likely to want to hear what we have to say. We only tend to follow advice that resonates and fits with our perception of ourselves and the world, or in other words, we have to feel it in our hearts. The next time you're tempted to proffer advice, you may like to stop for a moment and consider that; or if you're resisting somebody else's guidance, perhaps you might wonder why.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/sep/11/taking-your-own-advice-oliver-burkeman
I think my most important contribution can be in helping clients to see that we're all largely stumbling along, feeling foolish and scared, worried about making the wrong decision. My solutions are not necessarily theirs, nobody else knows better than they do what's right for them and that if any of us wants to make the most of life, we just have to get on with it without guarantees and certainty. Understanding that we're not alone can be the most liberating and empowering lesson, accepting ourselves with our inevitable limitations enables us to move forward, and in a world where we are constantly pressured to be perfect, it's often a revelation and a relief.
Once we recognise our imperfect humanity and share it with others, they are more likely to want to hear what we have to say. We only tend to follow advice that resonates and fits with our perception of ourselves and the world, or in other words, we have to feel it in our hearts. The next time you're tempted to proffer advice, you may like to stop for a moment and consider that; or if you're resisting somebody else's guidance, perhaps you might wonder why.
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/sep/11/taking-your-own-advice-oliver-burkeman