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Seechanges Therapy
Blog Post
How to Deal with Unreasonable People
- by Bernice Hardwick
- •
- 03 Mar, 2019
- •
What do you do when you leave a social situation (or other, for that matter) feeling somewhat niggled? It's nothing you can put your finger on, just a nagging sensation that somehow you've been criticised/undermined/laughed-at/disrespected, and you feel inexplicably angry or down. Would your first response be to suggest to yourself that you are overreacting, being overly sensitive?
If you are a reflective, self-aware individual, I suspect that it would be where you start,and it is probably the best place. A sensitive, intuitive person, highly attuned to others' wishes, moods and needs, will pick-up on nuances and atmospheres that others may miss and if that's the case, maybe you've absorbed them without realising and you need to let them go if they're not yours. You could have misread or misunderstood a comment, so you may like to seek clarification. Or could it be that you simply don't want to face or accept something which was said about you, and you've reverted to that childish "it's not fair" attitude?
When you've explored all theses options and that uneasy feeling remains, the other answer may well be that it IS them; something which they are doing, deliberately or unconsciously, is upsetting. In which case you have to face the fact that it's still down to you! How are you going to deal with it? Your solution will very much depend on who the person is - where do they fit into your life? can you avoid them? what kind of personality are they? and so on - but it will always be rooted in knowing yourself and setting the boundaries that suit you (yes, you decide, without apology!). It takes practice, but without doing that, you will feel exploited and powerless.
www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/prescriptions-life/201201/dont-try-reason-unreasonable-people
If you are a reflective, self-aware individual, I suspect that it would be where you start,and it is probably the best place. A sensitive, intuitive person, highly attuned to others' wishes, moods and needs, will pick-up on nuances and atmospheres that others may miss and if that's the case, maybe you've absorbed them without realising and you need to let them go if they're not yours. You could have misread or misunderstood a comment, so you may like to seek clarification. Or could it be that you simply don't want to face or accept something which was said about you, and you've reverted to that childish "it's not fair" attitude?
When you've explored all theses options and that uneasy feeling remains, the other answer may well be that it IS them; something which they are doing, deliberately or unconsciously, is upsetting. In which case you have to face the fact that it's still down to you! How are you going to deal with it? Your solution will very much depend on who the person is - where do they fit into your life? can you avoid them? what kind of personality are they? and so on - but it will always be rooted in knowing yourself and setting the boundaries that suit you (yes, you decide, without apology!). It takes practice, but without doing that, you will feel exploited and powerless.
www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/prescriptions-life/201201/dont-try-reason-unreasonable-people