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Seechanges Therapy
Blog Post
Change Your Mind
- by Bernice Hardwick
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- 18 Nov, 2018
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I wonder if you've ever struggled with making a decision which involves changing your mind? Was it because you were worried about losing face? About others ridiculing you because you'd been so certain matters were one way and then discovered that wasn't the case?
A bit like the bride or groom who goes through with the wedding rather than openly admit that they no longer love or want to marry that person. The fear of hurting others, the shame of having to admit you were mistaken, the public humiliation of it all - you'd rather make a bad choice than face any of that. I would suggest that the person who has not been faced with a situation like this is very rare indeed.
Strangely, changing our minds seems to be regarded as a sign of weakness, as having no backbone, yet admitting mistakes and facing up to poor decisions, being willing to alter an opinion when new information comes along, seeing other perspectives - are they not indications of strength? I have great respect for people who are ready to apologise and accept their mistakes and shortcomings. When somebody attempts to cover-up or persists in defending the indefensible, I often feel like I want to expose their hypocrisy. However, that really is counter-productive - if you were that person, would you respond well if you felt embarrassed and humiliated? Yes, it may be a way of making them face the consequences of their actions, but do you want to be right (and punish) or do you want to find a solution and progress? We all make mistakes, we're all human. Accept that, give somebody a way out (be the bigger/better person if you like!), let them leave with dignity and you're far more likely to achieve what you want.
https://heleo.com/facts-dont-change-peoples-minds-he…/16242/
A bit like the bride or groom who goes through with the wedding rather than openly admit that they no longer love or want to marry that person. The fear of hurting others, the shame of having to admit you were mistaken, the public humiliation of it all - you'd rather make a bad choice than face any of that. I would suggest that the person who has not been faced with a situation like this is very rare indeed.
Strangely, changing our minds seems to be regarded as a sign of weakness, as having no backbone, yet admitting mistakes and facing up to poor decisions, being willing to alter an opinion when new information comes along, seeing other perspectives - are they not indications of strength? I have great respect for people who are ready to apologise and accept their mistakes and shortcomings. When somebody attempts to cover-up or persists in defending the indefensible, I often feel like I want to expose their hypocrisy. However, that really is counter-productive - if you were that person, would you respond well if you felt embarrassed and humiliated? Yes, it may be a way of making them face the consequences of their actions, but do you want to be right (and punish) or do you want to find a solution and progress? We all make mistakes, we're all human. Accept that, give somebody a way out (be the bigger/better person if you like!), let them leave with dignity and you're far more likely to achieve what you want.
https://heleo.com/facts-dont-change-peoples-minds-he…/16242/